KGB Survival Tips!
After much careful planning and procrastination, we present to you...
"The Diary of KGB Agent!"
Never released before, this will contain practical information about things you always wanted to know about being KGB agent, such as:
How to stay warm in wild, with only a bottle of vodka and potato!
How to make vodka from perfume, potato...anything!
2045 ways to cook potato!
How to find wife in 35 years (Or less!)
And so much more(!)
Only you, the select few faithful are lucky enough to get ahold of such useful things as this!
So now, on to ultimate-KGB-agent-questionaire to see if you are qualified to be agent, or if you may have tendencies towards secret service business!!
1. Do you find yourself sometimes keeping watch on those you live with? Little things like: Keeping track of passport, Social Security number, wallet, personal ID, height, eye color, fingerprints, DNA data, etc...
2. Do you find yourself making mental escape routes to exit from bathroom, living room, closet, etc..
3. And lastly, because our resources are running dry: Do you sometimes find yourself collecting any of these ingredients from pharmacies: potassium nitrate, phosphorous pentoxide, acetic acid, hydrogen sulfide?
Ok, now for how you score!!
If you answered yes to any of these questions, the good news is that maybe you are qualified to be agent! The bad news is you may already be terrorist.
Do svyazee!
"The Diary of KGB Agent!"
Never released before, this will contain practical information about things you always wanted to know about being KGB agent, such as:
How to stay warm in wild, with only a bottle of vodka and potato!
How to make vodka from perfume, potato...anything!
2045 ways to cook potato!
How to find wife in 35 years (Or less!)
And so much more(!)
Only you, the select few faithful are lucky enough to get ahold of such useful things as this!
So now, on to ultimate-KGB-agent-questionaire to see if you are qualified to be agent, or if you may have tendencies towards secret service business!!
1. Do you find yourself sometimes keeping watch on those you live with? Little things like: Keeping track of passport, Social Security number, wallet, personal ID, height, eye color, fingerprints, DNA data, etc...
2. Do you find yourself making mental escape routes to exit from bathroom, living room, closet, etc..
3. And lastly, because our resources are running dry: Do you sometimes find yourself collecting any of these ingredients from pharmacies: potassium nitrate, phosphorous pentoxide, acetic acid, hydrogen sulfide?
Ok, now for how you score!!
If you answered yes to any of these questions, the good news is that maybe you are qualified to be agent! The bad news is you may already be terrorist.
Do svyazee!
Gloriously worded by Boris Volshensky at 10:15 PM
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